Another Life Change

It's been a long while since I've posted. Much has been going on and my life has taken a left turn onto a new road.

It has been an adjustment with the arrival of our new Cub into our life and unfortunately, it hasn't always been easy. In fact, it's been rough. Only those closest to me know how rough it has really been for me - I've struggled with my own emotional and mental issues becoming a new mom and finding balance with my new role.

So it is with sadness and acceptance, that I finally put it down in writing that my life as a wife to my Pappa Bear is over. It involved a mutual discussion, a struggle with the acceptance that I have once again failed to make a marriage work - and then determination to move forward and start putting one foot in front of the other to start a new life.

It has been quite an adjustment for everyone involved, including my little Bear Cub. It's been five months since the decision and four since we have been physically separated. I've noticed quite a change in Cubby - he's becoming more of the happy-go-lucky kid that I've known he always was, and it's been a learning experience for both of us.

This is something I've never envisioned for my life, for our little family of three - but this is how life sometimes shakes out. One thing I've learned from becoming a Mom, you have to be flexible, learn to adapt and keep moving forward.

Here's to a new life!

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Pine Nuts!

I'm a food-a-holic. If it's food, I generally eat it. Now that spring/summer is here, I've been eating a lot more salads. The more exotic, the better for me! I just love the varied flavors of cheese, fruits, nuts and meat on a salad. It also feels lighter (although may not necessarily be lighter in calories).

Sometime last week I started experiencing a bitterness taste in my mouth. No matter what I ate, the bitterness would appear and generally ruin the flavors of the food I was eating. It didn't matter what I ate or drank - whether it be chocolate, dry toast, orange juice, steak, plain rice, corn, etc. It has been going on for a few days, although the strength of the bitterness does seem to be lessening.

Over the weekend, I really started questioning this. What does this mean? Usually your senses are trying to tell you something - but what is it? I start to panic a little. Could it be all the excess sugar (chocolate) I've been eating? Could this be a sign of diabetes? EEEEK!!!!

So, what do I do? Ah ha! I'll GOOGLE it!

Several word choices and many clicked links later, it seems to be nothing serious. The summary cause of all the reading: pine nuts. Crazy isn't it? Wikipedia has information on the risks of consuming pine nuts and even the FDA is looking into this issue.

So beware my readers! In this day and age where allergies are becoming more prominent and awareness is everywhere (don't get me started on this particular topic), it's always good to take note of what you eat and notice any strange feelings, sensations and reactions. In my case, it's nothing serious but who knows what the next issue may be?

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Shop-a-holics Anonymous Please!

I have a problem. At least I'm not in denial about it. I think I'm going to need a shop-a-holics anonymous group. It's not your typical buy-something-every-day kind of habit. More of a binging behavior.

I've always SAID I don't have any kind of addictive personality, but I'm thinking I might. But it comes in waves with different things. Maybe it's like an ADD Addictive Personality Disorder. Where you can only keep your focus on one addiction for a short period of time. Does that sound good? I'll just go with that - seems like everyone has to have a diagnosis these days and I'm going to self-diagnose myself with that. Are you good with that?

Okay, so back to the shopping. I don't know why, but I'm always buying something. Sometimes something BIG but mostly small things. Clothes, shoes, makeup, shoes, office supplies, shoes, CDs, did I say shoes?

On Sunday, I went shopping with my sister for some new work clothes. I was inspired by some of my internet gal pals as we were sharing our tastes and ideas for where to get decent clothes. I also realized last week that I needed to find some clothes I'm comfortable wearing that will hide my jiggly-wigglies for work. Luckily, we were on a time constraint or I don't know HOW much more money I would've spent. Then of course, I went home and ordered four pairs of shoes from Crocs. Yikes! Problem, much?

I guess I better hide the credit cards.

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Mother's Day 2011

I cannot believe how fast time flies! Another year, another Mother's Day. I can't believe I'm somebody's MOM. I don't know why, but that sounds so OLD to me. Most days I still feel like I'm my twenty-something self, even though I know I'm not.

Having a little Bear Cub has changed my world so much - I've struggled with my new role but I feel each day things get better and I can look at yesterday and say "take that"!

As I think about the role a Mother plays in someone's life, I think about my own Mom - and her influence on me and my siblings. I think about how HARD of a job it is and wonder - why do we need a day to celebrate and appreciate Moms? Shouldn't this be EVERY DAY? Shouldn't we show appreciation to our Moms every day?

I like to think I try to always thank my mom for everything she does for me, my son and my husband and to tell her and show her that I love her. That she IS appreciated. Some days may be better than others, but I know in my heart that she does a TREMENDOUS job being a Mom. I can only hope that I'm doing that great of a job for my son.

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful Mom... and to all the Moms out there!

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Wow, really?

I cannot believe the last time I blogged was in August. Whew! Boy, a lot has happened since then and LOOK! Now we're in a new year. How'd THAT happen?

Well, as a start of the new year, I'll be looking to do a blog makeover for both me and Cubby and work on blogging more. I miss writing and sharing my thoughts. I still have much to write and share about with my Vietnam trip (I know, how awful - that was more than a year ago!) and just life changes (changed jobs again!).

But for now, just a little post to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2011, I'm so glad you're here!

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