You know, I'm irked. Well, that's me being polite. I was actually quite OFFENDED at a narrow-minded comment that someone made about a particular parenting technique. Now, before I was a parent, I did (and still do) have my views about what I feel is appropriate for me as a parent and my child. I have learned though that there are many different ways to handle a particular situation and for each parent, they have to find what works for them and their child. Every child is different - there is no one way to appropriately raise/discipline/teach your child. I'm totally open to other points of views but what I'm not open to is narrow-minded bashing comments about my child, their behavior or the way in which I parent.
This particular case was in reference to using the CIO (cry it out) method in order to put your child to sleep. Now, I know this has worked for some of my friends (which I am just surprised/amazed/in awe) but I know this would never work for me. Only because I cannot STAND the crying. It grates my nerves and makes me want to pull my hair out. So I won't even try it. But kudos to those of you who can do it and your child can put themself to sleep without you holding them, boobing them, rocking them for endless hours or you having to get up every couple of hours.
So here's the comment that got me a little riled up:
"It really is normal for babies to wake that often...ones that sleep through the night at his age (or, gasp, even younger) have been 'trained' to realize that noone is going to tend to their needs and they give up and sleep though the hunger/pain/lonely/etc...no offense...."
ARE YOU SHITTING ME?! SERIOUS?! WTF?! This is in reference to a 4 month old. No offense? Are you KIDDING ME? Of COURSE I take offense! It's these kind of comments from another MOM that just PISSES me off! This is one mom who apparently knows it all about how babies are SUPPOSED to behave, never mind that every child is different and no two babies are alike. Fortunately for us, Boy has slept through the night for a couple of months now (he'll be 5 months on Saturday) without any coercion on our part.
There is no WAY that my child has been neglected just because he sleeps through the night. And JUST BECAUSE parents want an option to get their child to sleep and to sleep longer than two hour increments, doesn't mean they are training their kid to accept being ignored/neglected.
It was later clarified that her comment about the babies who sleep through the night were meant in reference to those babies who do cry it out, but I still disagree and find the comment even more offensive in that context. It's now a judgement statement to those parents who do choose to use the CIO method.
What's next? A comment/lecture on how I've already taught my child that he's not loved because he's been sleeping in his own crib since he was 8 weeks old? That my child will have low self-esteem because I don't hold/wear him 24/7? That my child will have dependency issues when he's older because I choose to let him play on his own in his exersaucer/bouncer/swing?
Once it was known I was pregnant, I found that I came across many many more of these types of people who are 'know-it-alls', push their opinion/point-of-view onto you and make judgements instead of those kind, open, supportive helpful people. You know - those people that listen to your views/issues, offer support, helpful suggestions and encourage you no matter what way you choose to go. I guess I'm lucky in that I feel that the Mommas on my board and in my Mommy group are all more of the helpful, supportive type and I don't have to deal with too many know-it-alls...
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